jason christoper hartley

March 25, 2009

I Am Not Who I Am

Filed under: Short Stories — Jason Christopher Hartley @ 4:20 pm

Mandy had decided she wanted a new body and was going to transfer herself over to the new one immediately. I never got a chance to see the new body, so I didn’t know how to recognize her. Once she had transferred herself, she went out with some friends and had left her old body folded up in an old milk crate. She had discarded her former body and didn’t really care what was done with it. I felt like it should be disposed of properly, so I put it in the cab of Matt’s truck and began driving to the dump. I looked over at her folded-up body and put my hand on her arm. Her skin was smooth, the way I remembered it, but her body was cold. I knew that this body wasn’t her anymore, but it was the only body I knew her to have and it was the only way I knew how to identify with her. I still felt a keen attachment to that body and I wanted it to be her. Even though I knew she wasn’t gone, I missed her intensely. I began to cry.

A synthetic goose pheromone mist sprayer was set up in front of a large oscillating fan on the edge of the parade field. As a formation of geese approached, the sprayer emitted a large cloud of scentless atomized pheromones that blew directly across my body and face and quickly dissipated into the air above the field. The guys leveled their shotguns toward the geese and with great deliberateness fired in turn. They all missed horribly except for one whose shotgun had been loaded with a yellow rubber ball and when fired, the projectile flew through the air so slowly that it hit the bird with a gentle ‘pat’ then merely dropped to the ground leaving the bird unharmed. I muttered, “Oh, that did a whole lot of good!” It was frustrating to watch them do so poorly something I found so easy.

I then looked into the mirror on the wall of the bathroom and realized I didn’t recognize the face I saw. I was relatively certain that this wasn’t my face. As I’ve grown older, my eyebrows have thinned—something that has given me some consternation. Thick, healthy eyebrows are a symbol of strength and a component of attractiveness for men. The face I saw had fuller eyebrows, but the rest of the face was all wrong. This face had a much larger nose. This really upset me. I really liked my nose. This nose was not very attractive. And now that I looked more closely, the eyebrows met in the middle somewhat, a sizeable tuft of hairs sprouting out between them. This was no good. As I surveyed the rest of the face in the mirror, I concluded that it was not a very attractive face. I felt that my usual face was barely attractive enough to get most people to want to interact with me. I wasn’t beautiful, but I could work with the looks I had. But this face? I was so upset. I didn’t like this face at all. It was a struggle enough with the face I had, but now that I had this different face I didn’t know how I’d ever get anyone to love me.

3 Responses to “I Am Not Who I Am”

  1. Angie Shupe Says:

    :) still trying to figure if the 2 stories are attached in one way or another……..

  2. Jason Christopher Hartley Says:

    Both were dreams.

  3. Peter Shorts Says:

    Actually the first story has a hint of truth to it…

    Back in 1994 Jason and I were in LA. Jason got a small part in 90210, I think he was Kelly’s stalker or something. Anyway we were hanging in Hollywood and Jason was pretending to be the next John Stamos. I was just along for the adventure. I knew Jason would flop because of his constant need to masterbate. There was no way he could last a whole day on the 90210 set witout snapping his carrot.

    While Jason was running through his scenes with Jason Priestly I wandered over to the set of a new show called frogman. I noticed that some of the actors had left their clothes lying around. Since I am a degeneerate I decided to steal some of their shit. I ran off with a sweet pair of shoes and some of the prop weapons.

    As i returned to the 90210 set Jason was getting escorted away by security, Jennie Garth was covered with a nice slab of Jason’s throat yogurt.

    That night we went out in Brentwood, we were trying to pick up some divorced women. I rocked the new shoes and off we went.

    Jason is a notorious Scotch Guard sniffer… from his days in Utah. That night he sniffed is ass off and was fyling around like a morman Peter Pan. He grabbed the prop weapons I stole and started dancing in the streets of Brentwood claiming he was the Pied Piper. He kept shouting I’m the pied piper give me your daughters.

    As the mom=rmon fruit was spinning around he release the prop machete, it flung through the air like a fuckin Olympic disk. We heard two shearing sounds coming from a house and we ran our ass over to check it out.

    I stepped into the driveway and noticed I was stepping in blood, so much for those nice new Bruno Maglis I swiped. I looked down and saw a blonde woman and some homo with their heads cut off. I grabbed a pair of black gloves I swiped from the Frogman set and pried the machete loose from the ladys neck.

    Jason and I hauled our ass out of their fast. But Jason was still high as fuck from the Scotch Guard and he was jumping around like a Kansas City Faggot trying to steal every car we came upon. He finally stopped at a White Bronco, I ditched the gloves over the fence and ran away.

    1 week late OJ Simpson, Star of the TV show Frogmen was arrested for double murder.

    Ladys and Gentlemen – JASON FUCKING CHRISTOPHER FUCKING HARTLEY

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